


slowly

by owllegator



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Body Horror, Lance (Voltron) Whump, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Langst, M/M, Memory Loss, Pining Keith (Voltron), WIP, forgetting how to love, like a messed up magical form of depersonalization, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-09-09 09:38:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8885893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owllegator/pseuds/owllegator
Summary: Lance gets hurt. The crew is in the dark as for what actually happened. It's nothing crazy, but it's worse than the explosion with Coran. Physically he seems to be doing alright. But suddenly things about him start to disappear. Like how his skin would glow after countless nights of caring for it.Or how he tries his best in every battle, big or small, real or not.Or his optimism to keep the rest from going silent during an intense fight, to keep their minds from wandering too far away from sanity. It's all... gone. Keith needs it back. It's going to drive him crazy.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> i have lots to edit, but pls read what my trash looks like before i sprinkle it with glitter ;)

None of them really expected something like this. The Galra had never done something so subtle before.

It all began on a simple mission, a distress signal from a nearby planet. Allura had started up a wormhole and the paladins were sent to the planet. They scanned the murky yellow skies, a sandy planet, covered in stone-like huts colored in a more orange shade compared to the white grains of the floor.

Quickly, and without (too much) banter between Lance and Keith, they touched down on the planet. Shiro had directed Lance and Pidge to go into town to find out what the distress beacon was caused by, while Hunk and Keith checked the perimeter.

Keith nodded to Shiro and headed to the west side of the town slipping through alleyways and ducking down into small ground displacements, where small caves were formed. Brushing a small strand of hair from his eyes he heard a sudden noise, like an explosion. He shot up from his crouched position. Soon after, there was indistinct shouting from the civilians along with what sounded like Shiro and Hunk.

Allura said something on their over-com that sounded like:  
“Lance --- Pidge okay? --- ------ building -- collapsed,” Before Keith could ask for her to repeat herself he heard Pidge scream. His blood boiled as he sprinted over to Pidge, tripping over the small civilians.

Pidge was kneeled over what Keith presumed was the building Lance and Pidge had been in. He rushed over to leaned down to face Pidge.

“What happened?” He asked, confusion in his voice. Surely these small flakey creatures, almost resembling teddybears, didn't do this? Pidge let out a breath and went back to throwing the stones that were in a crumpled heap.

“Lance and I were talking to their ruler,” they grunted picking up a larger brick. “And some purple smoke just, like, appeared suddenly. We just had this feeling of it being the Galra so we knew we had to get everyone out,” Pidge seemed to cringe. “Then something in the walls exploded and Lance threw me out!” They were yelling now. “It’s such a Lance thing though, he did that kind of thing with Coran,” Pidge said in a softer tone.

Keith understood, Lance was inside of the building when it collapsed, tossing Pidge out before the smoke and explosion could get to them. He let out a shaky breath, trying to keep under control. He spoke into his helmet.

“Allura could you, or Coran prepare a healing pod,” Before he waited for their answer, he turned and shouted for Shiro and Hunk to help with uncovering the pile of rubble.

Moments later as he was lifting a large flat chunk he heard a groan.

“Lance!” he exclaimed with newfound adrenaline. _Oh god, this is actually real._

Lance’s arm extended up trying to find help, Shiro scrambled over the pile and lifted the rest of the debris covering the blue paladin. Keith grabbed Lance’s extended arm and pulled him up. The boy let out a noise of protest from the sudden movement. In his dazed state, he and ended up collapsing on Keith. Keith gripped onto Lance carefully.

“Lance are you alright?” Shiro questioned. The paladins all crowded around Keith and Lance who were tangled together in Lance’s limp limbs. Lance stirred, his legs shaking.

“I can’t, I-” Shiro cut Lance off, understanding. Lance’s suit had scrapes and dents and his clear visor was shattered. Bits of the glass stuck in his cheek, small picks of blood on his face. His eyes watered, and were red-rimmed, breathing shallow. Keith had a  
sudden urge to brush the stray hairs out of Lance’s face. His composure was in as many pieces as the remaining building.

Shiro called in to Allura, telling her that they would all be coming back, Keith reminding her again, for readying a healing pod.

 ---

Lance awoke and stumbled out of the healing pod and onto the cool floor. He let out a groan from the impact. _Well, I know the floor is always there to catch me_. He let out a humored breath at his thought and sat upright. His bones ached, and his head felt like it was on fire. He felt wrong and gross.

The boy looked down at himself, he truly was dirty. How long had been in the healing pod? And where was everyone? Lance gripped the side of a control panel and lifted himself up, the room spinning. He pressed a button that turned on a mic to the main rooms. On the overhead, he spoke,

“Hey.. guys?” his voice cracked from his dry throat. “Your favorite paladin… uh,” his mind stretched. What was his name? “Lance here,” He said, uncertain.

A moment had passed before he heard Allura speak on the overhead as well.

“Lance! I’m so glad you’re awake, so sorry no one was there when you awoke, we were expecting another few days of your sleep,” a pause with distant noise… who was that shouting? Something like: ‘Oh my god he’s awake! Get up!’

How early was it? There weren’t any clocks indicating the time around and there wasn’t a sun to set and rise. Looking up at the lights on the ceiling he guessed around sometime early in the morning, maybe 4 AM compared to Earth time.

Lance sighed and listened to the chatter on the other end of the over-com. Where were they? Suddenly the audio cut out, Hunk burst into the room, the others following behind. He was crushed by Hunk grabbing him in a tight embrace.

“Oh my god, I thought you died out there!” Hunk wailed. Lance chuckled.  
“No way! Me? Dead?” The blue paladin looked over at the others gathered in the room, that was spinning a little less now that hunk was holding him.

“Lance, what do you remember from our mission?” Shiro stepped forward, Hunk releasing the boy from his grasp. Lance still leaned on Hunk.

“I was in a building with Pidge…,” he hesitated in thought. “We were talking to… someone important and, then, well…” His tense features relaxed like he had just given up.

“If you don’t remember that’s alright, we-” Shiro started.

“No, no I remember it, it’s just that my brain is a little weird right now,” He interrupted. It was true. All his memories felt like they were covered in layers of thin smoke. Violet smoke.

“Oh! There was this smoke, it was purple came right in through the cracks in the walls. I saw it, and I pushed Pidge out, I wasn’t sure what it might do,”

“More like you threw me, I practically flew out the doors,” Pidge grumbled. Keith looked at the Lance with worry.

“Sorry, sorry, I just panicked,” Lance sighed. “But then I had already breathed in the smoke, and I felt really… light I guess? The smoke also messed with my vision, it was burning my eyes. I couldn’t really find the exit,” His rushed words slowed down. “I tried to get out,  
but then something exploded under the floors, and in the walls, and the building collapsed,” Lance then took a moment to realize what happened next. “And then… I got trapped,” His eyes suddenly finding the floor endearing.

Shiro stepped forward and put his arm around Lance. “Hey it’s okay, you’re okay now,” Keith had stayed still, his arms crossed and defensive.

Lance shrugged off Hunk and Shiro’s hold. “I’m just gonna go shower, I was in there for how long?”

“Five days,” Keith stated. Much longer than last time.

“Yuck, it’s time for a wash,” Lance had already made his way out the door.

 ---

Lance turned the faucet and let the water drench him, it was cold and gave him goosebumps, but he could care less on waiting for it to warm up. He stood there running a hand through his hair, watching the dried blood wash down the drain, along with  
the dust and rubble of that building.

_We never did finish that mission, did we?_   Lance sighed. It was his fault for not being cautious enough. I bet if Keith went with Pidge he would’ve gotten everyone, and himself out without even a scratch on his stupid jacket.

Lance reached for a bottle of shampoo and without bothering to measure a good amount, dolloped some into his hair, rubbing furiously. He looked at his products, all from Allura (and a few from Coran-- how else would that guy’s hair literally shine?) and sighed.

He shouldn’t be worrying over the small blackheads on his nose, or exfoliating his skin. _The others don’t really care about these things, I’m just wasting time by using these._ Without hesitation he tossed bottle after bottle of remedies into a trash chute. Most were homemade with Allura herself, and some just random products gathered throughout space.

He closed off the water and toweled down his hair, not bothering to comb it down to his normal “perfection”. With tips of the hair, still damp and askew, he stepped out into his room and got dressed.

Lance sat down on his bed and ran a dry hand through his hair. He felt… weird. The boy couldn’t figure out what it was, but something was in the back of his head. Telling him what to do, guiding him, controlling him. Lance shook his head vehemently. No, he was sane and in control. He stood up just to test that. Rushing over to his mirror he leaned towards its smooth surface, studying his face. _I’m normal and okay._

But he wasn’t okay. A coughing fit took hold of him, and he gripped a side of his cabinet. A wave of nausea coursed through his body, like a hand grabbing at his stomach and squeezing. He coughed and coughed, rushing back to the bathroom, tears in his eyes as he dry heaved. The paladin’s stomach empty of food from his past five days of induced sleep.

Saliva and stomach acids were spat out into the toilet. He wheezed, trying to tell his body that he needed to breath. The hand gave one final squeeze, in which Lance heaved up awful copper tasting acid. He rested up head on the porcelain bowl and felt the tears dry on his face.  
Lance’s stomach still ached and his legs felt weak, but he stood and looked into the bathroom mirror. Leaning on the counter the paladin looked over his body. He looked frail and fragile, like wind would knock him down with a simple gust.

He breathed out and shuddered. Lance felt cold and still awful, like the sickness still hadn't left him. He cried, something he tried his best not to do-- _too busy defending the universe and all._

_\---_

Allura had the habit of springing random “attacks” on the paladins. Particularly in the middle of the night.

An alarm went off. Keith shot up, grabbing his jacket and dashing out the door. Allura said they never knew when the Galra might find them and attack, that they always had to be ready. Keith took that to heart. He never was fully resting, trying to be alert for the next moment.

Running into the control room, he was first as always. Shortly after, Shiro appeared beside him, looking disheveled, but alert. The black paladin looked to Allura who was still shouting for the others to hurry up, that the Galra could infiltrate any second.

Pidge and Hunk arrived within the next thirty seconds. The duo looked exhausted, but alas they were here.

Keith glanced across the room’s entrances. _Where was Lance?_ He had been getting better with these drills lately.

Keith let his mind drift to Lance for a moment. He had been improving pretty well in everything to be honest. Keith hated to admit it, but he was impressed.

Bringing Keith out of his train out thought, Lance came running into the room.

“Lance, that was almost as slow as the first time we ran this drill!” Allura scolded. Shiro tensed up, sternly looking at the blue paladin. He looked like he was about to go into lecture mode. Lance looked up at Allura, like he didn't fully understand what she said.

He opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking. “Right, sorry I’ll do better next time,” he stated. The boy stared at the floor in front of him. He did not look well. Shiro had obviously noticed, his shoulders drooping.

“Lance, is everything okay? If you’re still not feeling well then-”'

“Me? Not okay? Of course not!” he replied with sudden enthusiasm. Hunk glanced at Pidge with concern.

Keith didn't know how far Lance and Hunk’s relationship went back, but apparently it went far. He trusted Hunk’s judgment on Lance, and without asking him he knew, Lance wasn’t at his full wellness.

“If you’re feeling fine, then it’s time to form Voltron!” Allura chided. Shiro looked over to Keith and shrugged, the red paladin’s doubt clearly showing.

Keith started over to Lance, but the boy had already headed over to the blue lions dock. Keith sighed. He would ask how he was doing after they finished the drill.

Lance was not okay. As he slid into Blue’s cockpit he was showered with it’s thoughts.

Concern, worry, and worst of all, fear. Lance gulped.

“Hey, hey Blue! It’ll work out okay in the end!” he tried. Blue kept sending the same feeling. The boy sighed. “There's something wrong with me,” he whispered. Lance gripped the controls harder and pushed out of the castle.

He was last again, even though it was only by seconds-- but it was still unlike him. Lance had made it a race half the time with Keith. And Keith usually won. Shiro spoke into the coms.

“Alright guys, I know we’re all exhausted, let’s just finish this up and we can get back to bed,” Shiro’s lion straightened up into the air. The others got out their replies, and lined up on the sides of the black lion. Lance absent mindedly followed suit, Blue doing most of the work.

As they all sped ahead, the team focused, intense silence filling their minds.

“Why haven’t we formed yet?” Keith questioned, breaking the atmosphere.

“I’m… not sure,” Shiro deadpanned. The red paladin looked out to the side. The blue lion was slowly drifting in the wrong direction.

“Lance? What are you doing?” Keith shouted. The blue paladin had to be slacking.

Seconds of no reply.

“Wait… what?“ Lance breathed out. Keith felt a shiver run down his spine.

“Lance, we're forming Voltron,“ Pidge stated.

“Guys, guys, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, something’s wrong, I can't focus,“ Lance fumbled out.

The blue paladin was a mess. His breathing came out in random breaths, his body not cooperating. He tried to steer his lion back into place, but he seemed to go in every direction except for the correct way. Going up, and right was a task too difficult for his mind to process. A cold sweat dripped down the nape of his neck.

“Lance? What do you mean something is wrong? Are you alright?” Hunk asked as a panicked chatter started between Shiro and Allura. The only reply from the blue paladin were labored breaths and shakes.

“Lance, we're going to head back, can you do that?“ Shiro questioned with concern. All the lions slowed down to try and match Lance's strange pace.

“Lance? Are you gonna be okay?“ Hunk worried. A mumble was the blue paladin´s only reply.

Blue suddenly ignored all manual controls that Lance attempted to do. It turned itself around and started off towards the ship. Pidge and Keith had gone silent, but their concern was conveyed in it’s own way.

 ---

Stepping out of the red lion, came Keith running to the blue lion’s port. To Lance. The lion landed with an edge, one of the front legs landing before the others, causing the ship to wobble. The mouth opened roughly, and Keith ran inside. Shiro protested, saying he wanted to check on Lance first. The boy ignored him, and stayed silent as he stepped into the metal beast. He spotted Lance, curled up like a child in the pilot chair.

“Lance! Lance!” He ran up to the paladin and looked over his dazed face. Lance’s skin was pale and his hair clung to his forehead with sweat. His eyes were red rimmed, but no visible tears were seen on his cheeks.

“Keith?” Lance’s eyes glanced around trying to focus on the source of the voice. His hands reached out trying to touch it. Where am I? Keith grabbed onto to Lance’s hands and held firmly. “Keith where am I?”

“Lance, you’re in the castle,” Keith tried. His brow furrowed. Lance’s breathing was uneven, the sight made Keith’s heart break.

“Keith what’s wrong with me?” Lance breathed out. Keith remembered then, he should be taking Lance somewhere better, not just listening to him talk (Though he would do that’s for hours.)

The red paladin’s only reply was something Lance couldn’t understand, but he suddenly felt himself be lifted up and held sturdily. The boy let out a whimper at the motion, his stomach doing flips.  
Shiro ran to their side, and helped carry the limp paladin. Hunk and Pidge rounded the corner with Allura close behind.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ... the team figures out what's wrong with lance... but is unsure of how to act upon it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY THIS IS MUCH SHORTER, BUT FRICKING SCHOOL STUFF MAN !!!

Inside a pod, Lance was unconscious. The team was huddled in a circle across the room, discussing what to do with the poor boy.

“The pods can’t heal anything like poison, and it won’t fix anything mentally damaging.” Coran reminded them.

“So we’re going to have to scan him first for any toxins in his body, maybe he encountered something when he was in the building,” The team nodded. “Lucky for us, I won’t have to restart the pods to do so, as I already set that up when we put Lance in it!”

Coran lead the group to the monitors showing Lance’s conditions. The pressed a few buttons with Pidge at his side attentively watching everything he did. Shiro stood beside Allura a bit farther back leaving Hunk and Keith to stand beside Coran.

Coran sighed. “Alright, this scan is going to take a bit longer than I thought so you’re free to go about your day or brainstorm an idea to fix our paladin,” He pressed a few buttons on the panel and turned to face the group. “I’ll be in the control room if you need me, I think I’ll look for a safe planet we can orbit without disruptions,” He stepped out of the room leaving the rest in the room.

Pidge leaned back from the control panel. “I’ll take my leave, I’ve got some research to do on what could've happened on that planet,” She quickly left the room.

Allura gave Shiro a nod and quietly headed out the room leaving him and Keith alone in silence. The boy had his hand on his chin, fingers brushing his lips. His eyes were glued to the condition statuses on Lance. He couldn't read everything there, but small images helped him get a sense of what they meant. The scan was ongoing, only about 10 percent complete.

“You’re worried right?” said Shiro. Keith nodded slowly. He was sat on the small ledge rimming the room. His eyes lost the tense glare he had when watching the monitor. The boy seemed to deflate.

Shiro sat beside him and put an arm around Keith. “He’s gonna be alright you know,” Shiro said. Keith’s face flashed into something deeply emotional.

“You don’t know that.”

Shiro stiffened at Keith's tone. “You’re right, but… I know that Lance will put up a fight.”

Keith just sighed and nodded his head back and forth slowly. “Alright, alright," He finnaly spoke after a minute, "I’ll just…” He looked the other way.

The leader took his arm off Keith. “Of course, yeah,” He peered down at the red paladin with one last faithful look, stood up, and stepped out of the room.

Keith didn't cry, he just…

\---

Within the same day, Coran called the crew to the pod room. Everyone rushed there quickly. The Altean viewed Lance’s monitor one last time.

“Alright I’ve got good news and bad news, which would you like to hear first?” Coran asked.

“The bad news,” Keith said bluntly. Coran nodded and gestured to the screen.

“This is shows that our blue paladin here has some sort of cerebrum venenum! Basically some sort of poison infecting his brain,” Coran said brightly. “But the good news is that we can create an antidote with the information the pod gathered!” he looked to the yellow paladin and spoke in a softer tone. “I’d like you to help me with that,” Hunk nodded quickly.

“Also, Lance can be released right now but…” he sighed. “I’m not sure how the poison will affect him or if it’s a good idea to let him be conscious before we have the antidote. I’ll leave that decision to you Shiro. You know your paladins best,” he smiled at the last part.

Shiro nodded with a newfound determination and turned to the other paladins.

“What do you all think?” he said as everyone huddled closer. Pidge opened and closed her mouth. Keith glared in thought.

“Lance wouldn’t want to sit in there doing nothing. He’ll probably get bored unconsciously,” Hunk smiled, he made it seem like a joke, but his meaning was serious.

Shiro glanced at the faces of the other two and nodded his head. He looked back at Coran.

“We’ll let him out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry again for it being short af

**Author's Note:**

> ugh this is so gross rn pls


End file.
